Re: PTPA Membership & Compensation Review — Overdue
Dear Council,
We will keep this brief, because frankly, Rufus's time is valuable and we've already kept him waiting 18 years. We are writing today on behalf of Rufus the Hawk, a Harris's hawk, “Bird Scarer” and Chief Pigeon Deterrent – who is gravely undercompensated. We are formally requesting his immediate induction into the players’ association and a full review of his compensation.
Section I: Grounds for Membership
Since 2008, Rufus has reported to the 42-acre grounds of the All England Lawn Tennis and Croquet Club (AELTC) every morning at 5am during the Wimbledon fortnight, and periodically throughout the rest of the year. He has never requested a wildcard, never withdrawn with injury (save for injuries suffered during a traumatizing criminal act further described below), and never skipped a session because the conditions weren't ideal.
He sweeps the outside courts, clears Court 1, then Centre Court - done before the cameras arrive. No coaching team. No warm-up. No physiotherapist. Just wings, talons, and what his handler describes as "a particular look of focused contempt" that has kept pigeons off the baseline at the world's most prestigious tennis tournament for nearly two decades.
In 1999, Pete Sampras was observed batting pigeons off the baseline with his racquet during a Wimbledon semifinal. Harris hawks were promptly introduced afterwards. The problem has not recurred.
Section II: Hostile Working Conditions
In 2012, Rufus was stolen from the back of his handler's car near Wimbledon.
We raise this not for sympathy, but as evidence of the difficult working conditions for a professional of his stature. He was recovered three days later at Wimbledon Common with a slightly sore leg. The media response was described as a "global outcry" and he was declared "the world's most notable bird." He returned to his 5am shift shortly after.
We also draw the Council's attention to Rufus’ hood — a handcrafted leather cap worn between flights to manage sensory input on busy match days. Hawks process visual information at roughly twice the speed of us (~130fps vs. ~70fps). Every day, Rufus works in conditions that require his own special hood to provide protection, a version of which, permanently resides in the Wimbledon museum.
Section III: Succession
While we acknowledge there is some complexity around Rufus’ long-term contract, he is still in his prime working years.
He is currently 18 years old, starting at Wimbledon at only 16 weeks old, and will potentially live up to 25-35 years. His predecessor, Hamish, provided his services for approximately 25 years.
The AELTC has publicly expressed a desire for Rufus to produce an heir, describing the arrangement as a "family business." Rufus has, to date, declined this request. A proposed partnership with a female hawk named Pamela did not progress. We consider this a private matter.
A trainee named Rhea is being developed as a potential successor and possible co-worker. This makes Rufus, in effect, a mentor and senior figure within the program — a role for which he is not receiving compensation nor acknowledgment.
Section IV: Conclusion
He has over 9k followers (@rufusthehawk) and a bio that reads "The Real Hawk-Eye". When Federer failed to acknowledge him courtside, Rufus documented it as #hawkward and promptly moved on.
In 2015, when the Duchess of Cornwall visited, Rufus greeted her from the official receiving line. Eyewitness accounts confirm he hogged the limelight.
The players get trophies and prize money. Rufus only gets a lanyard.
The world has recognized Rufus’ contributions. We trust the Council will give this application the serious consideration it deserves.
Sincerely,
The Legal and Talon Affairs Team at Sigrún on behalf of Rufus the Hawk
Sources:
- wimbledon.com
- https://www.yahoo.com/news/wimbledon-succession-crisis-looms-rufus-090000890.html
- https://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/tennis/wimbledon/9370240/Rufus-the-hawk-Quails-baths-and-me-time-meet-Wimbledons-biggest-diva.html
- https://abcnews.com/International/hawks-hounds-inside-weird-wonderful-world-wimbledons-working/story?id=111837408
- https://thesportsrush.com/tennis-news-why-rufus-the-hawk-is-an-all-important-employee-at-wimbledon/
- https://www.essentiallysports.com/wimbledon-championships-2019-who-is-rufus-the-hawk/